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hojas_secas @ 2006-11-05T01: 58:00

I lack confidence, confidence in myself, I have to be more decisive, I think too much nonsense, I have fear of many things I am foolishly unstable. Sometimes I'm really stupid. Sometimes they come back into my life the ghosts of the past.
I'm not happy. And I admit it. I do not like hypocrisy. I can not stop being me. I have trouble lying. I can not pretend I'm in a different way to how I really feel. My moods control my life. Lately my life is a jigsaw. I tend to obsess about things that are not worth it (and I can not help it). I hate to be compared with others. I am terribly anxious. I do not like losing. I would smile a little more. I'm not a typical person my age. And sometimes it would be. But on reflection, I think it would be so good. I have almost no free time. And when I have only sleep. There are thousands of edges that complicate my life ...

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hojas_secas @ 2006-10-27T01: 56:00

Again he displayed the same ghosts of the past.
seems that life revolves to move so long as the world around me is changing ...
What if you had never seen? If that October morning in the square we had not found. Everything would be different. You may not feel all that entailed being with you and all the pieces that remain and persist. Again
no room for that old and stupid obsession that I hate.
I'm an idiot.
.. and only managed to watch the world changed from the aféizar the window and biting my nails .-

Everything changes and what has happened to me? Maybe I just stood back.
always get to everything at the end.
I think so. Up in the morning without having the web of things I can not explain.
hope all turns around. P Toronto. . .

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hojas_secas @ 2006-10-17T00: 59:00

Arggg ... hartísima'm no longer resists me count the days until leaving school.
is the only thing I want to go to that place where people laugh at everything and makes too many silly and nonsense. I'm tired of being here. I still have no desire to keep holding the stupidity of my classmates. I want to leave this town. I do not know why it affects things other people say. Oh ... I came here ...

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hojas_secas @ 2006-10-14T15: 42:00

I am so idiot. I feel pretty alone now.
I want to hang out with my best friend.
I do not want to study.
I just want to l in the grass and laugh about anything.

I just want to Be happier.

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hojas_secas @ 2006-10-12T01: 28:00

♥ I do not know why sometimes I get to miss the past, when in fact, everything and everyone has changed. I can see a big gap between my past and present missed. And is that not only traces left by the passage of time, but something much deeper, it is the chasm that has created the fruit of disagreement and inconsistency.

Yes, once again I have left behind. Now I have nothing else to resign myself to my circumstance and make this mine, as mine, that in future there is no room for repentance. Again I

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hojas_secas @ 2006-10-01T00: 10:00

involves the monotony, the same thing always happens to me, as if something is inevitable in my life ...
Now I just hope that this stage is over, I just have to wait a little longer to change the air, the faces, the stories. I'd rather forget
old solitudes, once out of this abyss and start from scratch to be a little more myself, to feel a little safer.

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hojas_secas @ 2006-09-08T22: 27:00

I've always liked to write and receive letters. The first person with whom I exchanged letters was a friend of my childhood when I was about seven years. We lived in the same town to which by reason of work her father had to move to another city. From this it has been more than ten years. For various reasons she left overnight to write (I already had about eight years). But for me the letters have not lost that magic, that feeling of arriving home from school and see a letter on the table. So two years ago I started looking for new pals, so I began to write with different people, some of these friends came to fruition and others not, but this is natural.
Well, today I had the best day at school, my classmates have been more unbearable than usual, so when I came home rambling staring into nothingness or maybe that blue sky who-ya-no -be-seen-so-sulfur l, was a big surprise that my sister has told me: "I got a letter!". Immediately my eyes went back to shine.
Apart from the excitement that comes with receiving a letter today I have started to answer and I really relief. I let the words flow as long it did not. Is to write to someone who is thousands of miles from you and know only through the language of words is magical and wonderful, it's amazing to get to forge a friendly relationship full of trust and complicity that I have rarely come to have with someone. Also, the letter becomes a little therapy, is an opportunity to show me as I am with all my fears and insecurities, I can show this person that still finds herself often feels misunderstood .

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hojas_secas @ 2006-09-04T20: 30:00

I do not give more. No more than I have to stay forever with the words stuck in my throat on with them, because lately that the hardest step, whenever it becomes more difficult to express what I feel, it makes the secrecy becomes increasingly deeper .
I feel that everything is circular, my life is a cycle where events revolve, and then go back, hopefully it was like a spiral ...
I would laugh a lot. Lie on the grass watching the clouds move. Talking nonsense with them. Back to dream beautiful horizons. Enjoy the scent of flowers and see all rosy. Wake up one morning without having to think much.
But I have cold hands and a pile of notes stacked.

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I must be a person really obsessive. Often I have a thought, an idea or an image that constantly appears in my mind, this has happened to me several times, but in the end I always get away with this simply because it passes the time and pace to have other interests and most important things to think about.
past few months I have an obsession with big, and do not understand why I have it, is estto I consulted about the obsessions and this is what I got:

Obsessions are recurring thoughts that do not control mainly because they give a character of reality that do not have. Apart from the obsessions are the responses and behaviors that you choose to prevent or stop the anxiety that these obsessions cause you are those behaviors that keep the obsessions and give validity but do not.

Not to be so obsessive you must learn to see those bothersome thoughts are created by your mind and not by realidad, a eso se añade el que la ansiedad existe porque los crees y la debes asumir como normal, pero que pasará si no te guias por las obsesiones sino que sigues tu criterio real y pasas de hacer caso a esos pensamientos.

Esta es la parte de la estrategia que controla la ansiedad y las obsesiones, pero la parte que genera las obsesiones se trata de analizarte como persona, de conocer que te ha llevado a sentirte así, que te asusta de la vida o de ti misma o de los demás, así verás que si no te enccuentras bien contigo misma las obsesiones se encargan de recordartelo y te paralizan en tu vida.

Cuando las obsesiones no te permiten hacer tu vida normalmente, es cuando dejas de tener medios propios que te ayuden to solve this problem and maybe when it will be worth going to a psychologist to teach you to love and stop the obsessions.

*** Yes, this is right, it must be something I'm missing, but do not know what can be ... I'll have to discuss, analyze and analyze. I'm ready to get out of this.

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hojas_secas @ Obsessions 2006-07-09T14: 27:00

I believe that dreams can tell us much about ourselves, we can even say things to know.
Last night I told my boyfriend I want to be alone for a while, it seems most appropriate at this time, I did it mainly by a mental health issue. Hopefully all this is for the better, hopefully now all of a turn to smile a little more. Well, just last night I dreamed of shoes, which I found curious, since I have never had a special attachment to these items. What I remember is that my mother brought three pairs of new shoes and was also my grandmother, who has since died. I took a pair of shoes to me, and I liked because I had never seen a pair like that, then I inadvertently broke the heel on the shoes of my mother, but she did not realize then just kept looking at my beautiful new shoes, until then remember no more.

I searched the meaning of dreaming about shoes and found the following:

ZAPATO Indicio de que algo va a venir en nuestra vida. Posibles viajes. Viejos: Tedio y pobreza, tenemos un camino duro y largo que vamos a recorrer. Nuevos: alguna comodidad en dicho camino, ganancias. Nos los compramos nuevos: (precio). Camino nuevo lleno de ventajas. Si nuevos lastiman: Camino corto por recorrer, pero con pruebas, dolor, pero con ventajas. Perderlos: Pobrezas. Sin zapatos subiendo una montaña: Ascenso espiritual; Bajando: Pobreza espiritual. Un solo zapato: Desequilibrio espiritual, mal en el camino. Un zapato grande que no le va. Es responsabilidad que no se puede con ella. Zapatos rotos: Mal espiritualmente. Zapatos en cantidad: Viajes, se debe partir .Verse with new shoes, fruitful journey. Verse they give you shoes, you should get out of there.

All I highlighted is because they have something to do with sleep, I like the meaning, everyone has to do with something new and with a trip ... maybe something will actually change.

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hojas_secas @ 2006-07-03T22: 53:00

I can not let time escape further msnos my hands as it has done so far. But there is so much to think about, much to study ...
do not know what I do with the time now: /
Finally, I need to disconnect, I laugh a lot and good conversation. That is my great desire, now *

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hojas_secas @ 2006-06-28T21: 39:00

I write more about my emotions and my fears. I would write without fear, I would love recognize the things I feel for not going into that situation not knowing or understanding what is happening to me.
My head hurts and I hate being sick, that's why I do not want to write more.

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hojas_secas @ 2006-06-17T19: 54:00

do not know how I feel. I am among sick / tired / bored.
There are very few things that fill me I do not know what to do, to feel that even he get tired sometimes. And I feel guilty that I, who spoiled their plans to have a perfect match, yes, I feel tremendously not feel the same way he feels about me, or seem to feel ...
is that he is determined to make me believe that we are a partner, we are practically iguales, y no, no es así. Ambos venimos de mundos completamente distintos y con experiencias muy diferentes. Creo que lo que nos une es algo tan frágil que a veces se hace invisible, en días como hoy que no consigo saber qué es lo que exactamente nos tiene juntos.

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hojas_secas @ 2006 - 06-09T20: 08:00

Los últimos días han sido un poco extraños. A veces no sé qué hacer, qué decir ni qué pensar, odio quedarme en esa situación todo el tiempo, a veces pienso que todo está al revés, o quizás yo lo estoy. Algunas veces no entiendo ciertas actitudes mías, me gustaría tener más control sobre eso.
Podría escribir tantas cosas, pero me cuesta tanto expresarlas. Ese es mi problema eterno.

NOTA:
From now I must study seriously.
more is coming each date that still scares me.
Although I spend much of my time with things related to PSU, I have not got good results, I mean not even get the results I want. I'll have to sacrifice more free time, I see no other solution. At the end of the last few months will pass quickly and I guess it's better to spend your free time to study than anything else, that's the most productive thing I can do, my life is so boring that it even looks attractive ...
I have never made good use of leisure time, and I do not mind having to use it in school or sleeping, I wish I had something more interesting to do, but who cares ... Third

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hojas_secas @ 2006-05-29T22: 59:00

LJ in less than two years. Now I really need to write serious, write without fear, I have stuck so many words that the only solution I see is to return to this.

Sometimes everything is strange, I see things change so quickly, yet at the same time I'm getting getting a little more to life, my life. I need a change, but I'm changing, but I want to be sure everything will be fine, that everything will be better.

Now more than ever I do the words and hugs. And now more than ever I begin to see things in a different color.